Mother
currently lives in
a space I did
not grow up, yet
I'm supposed to
call it home? I
haven't any home
here except the one I bring
I haven't anything
worth forgetting
because I live
in the 'now'
everlasting akin
to moment sedentary
in stupor glacier
barreled toward me in Winnebago
it wasn't long before I assume
he lives here, it doesn't take
nerve gas to pique my sense
to forgetting addresses a face
particles of clothing
I never been here before
I didn't use to pull the trick
you say you pull you card shark
driving metro bus from upper deck
forced-horizon in eye is only portentous
as ever for an instant
for in day while men and feral foragers
rest, reverie unifies nite.
Class crown bequeathes to landfill
adolescent substance oozy glory
in bronze harkens shakes and peeks
at globe on which we crouch
fearing G-d from under sheets
worn once as ghost costume
wait that's a movie recall not memory
all soul's day however is actual
in our space recognizable
he kisses grimy underbelly of calendary
fearing not the donning of boxers or briefs
shifts in genomic trajectory or politic
flanks 'Semper fi' with new eaglets
who'll each collapse of heart defeat
I kissed a boy once breathing
off swallowing disembowelment
no longer in shadow
capitalize stranger lower untested-aspirations
because of frailty, vitality
identification metamorphosises Unknown to Lover
I choose to let words bear-down
on neck blushing my purple
bereft of fortnight to plan and wallow
love shoulders hard hats against
down-pressing urgency
I cast you uninseminated embryo
who would be my baby boy
at last to realm of possibility, forever.
Call me sometime the way your mother
incites all her rabble to supper table
glowy in setting still of December
sometimes you convened only once per day
in early morn after being retrieved
from babysitter's down the street.
Neanderthals didn't find each other dwelling in huts
or even look to familiar without bullet
failing to own the ground onto which was spat
and grown-upon - diver for pearls in dark of
harboring poachers: that's not so bad
unless it is, and it is
sign of dwindling property value
window to dental services that represents
attempt by owner of said edifice
at boarding-up shot-out frosted glass
but merely points out lack of
shimmering newness anywhere on block
I'd have left it alone
the heat might get out and the ninjas
gain entry surreptitiously
but it's got character
and flora overtaking ivy ensconsed
in constitution of el barrio
is it true I disappear
if aren't recalled by anyone
is it so I die every day
actively-forgotten in mist of reminiscenses
escaping from even earth
at least not memorizable from then on
even for participant, actual form is fantasy
daily loaf not felt or smelled, all silence
all background dungeon, making plans to meet sometime
to let you my dear know when I'm
not here any longer so you can wear that necklace and go out
I forgive the matriarch of war
for fabled lands and intrepid haze
overwhelming long-term memory
isn't it stultifying to recognize once-known or -unknown
tho it doesn't mean much this morning
blind desiderative reach to recollected coordinates
of charging dock, slave to certainty
that levitating atop bureau wherever
rested communication device
to tell you of this apocrypha
but nothing came back to me.
