Stranger still

Everything that can be ordered
has fallen out of
favor with its sheath.
Pellets pierce crooked flesh
enters voluminously the breeze.
Eyes are greeted by cluttered
bird's mind- consequence of turning
attention too heartfully inward.
Vast is my appetite to be
brief, yet I am not the strangest.
You are stranger still.

Seven Songs

Don't be sorry*


Don't say no before our time is over

don't let me go if yu don't really want to

the problem is: if yu act, then your actions speak for yu,

and if yu stall, well sometimes there's just no talking to-




but if you're sorry then you're sorry and I already know

if you're sorry then you're sorry, just let it go

if you're sorry then you're sorry, just let it be

if you don't do it for yourself then do it for me




you don't have to be beholden to anyone

noone brings you anything except their gun

and while you're staring at the trigger they're out having fun




if you're sorry, really sorry, baby yu don't have to be

cos all our friends know it's not yu it's me

to all of them I turned my back in their hour of need

the greatest gift I gave them was to become a memory




but the universe is not finite!

Neither was the starlight

reflected in your eyes...




I remember you!

And when I do I'm happy

I hope you know I'm sorry...

Impermanently


Glorious heartbreak


sensory I can't divorce from the meaning that I heard

scared of the sky, I fell short of the bird




No classic sign

I take it to mean you're doing alright without me

to clarify for mother earth: I tend your gardens but I can't unswerve




Iceberg's in the way

cattails no longer sway

milk has no breast from which to spill

impermanent it!




How diligent must cloud seem to gust, whipping, and thrush?

All above

impermanent like us!




Humane instinct

carry me to him in the past I confuse for today

if it happens to me, it just so happens to be unexplainable...




Is there nothing that can't be undecided by or do

you know one who

speaks only what's true?




Is the path to negate all catastropes (impermanent love), sanctuary (desirable fool), memory (many come), dynasty (few go):




You and me all the way

you and me back home

you and me remain there

impermanently!

Wasted breath


Have I been blind?

Have I been unkind?

Have I been lost or absent?

Have I been a waste of time?




Have I been right?

Have I been wrong?

Have I been so far away yu didn't remember my name?




Yu lost memories of my face,

yu could draw in place of me

anybody walking down the street.

This was your living grace:




To move on, all yu had to do was stand up.

To move on, all yu had to do was get up.

To move on...




Yu got right on,

and yu wasted breath when yu turned aroud and yu said, 'Fuck off'.

Yu wasted your breath,

but that's alright.




You'll get along.

Go on and get along.

Yu wasted time,

go on, get along...

Make it right


Carry on

I don't have courage

to stay the night...




Now what's wrong?

I don't want to waste another life!




I don't usually see the point of getting to know

last names, addresses, the inner soul...




If I got another chance to make it right,

I'd take it this time!




I fly solo

so I can know

what's it like

to leave when I

- and only I can -

make it right!

Pretending I'm me


You may not be the master


or meant to meet your demise


in any specific disaster


yet it's to your benefit to realise






you may not be the one


hell, neither may I


please everybody


but what's the hurt in trying?






Try... oh we like to fit into


the machine already constructed


black and blue from ages rotting


body and bowl are plastic


merely here - and that's the point


of loving you






I love me too


love me too






Please just imagine


entertain the possibility


that you were not meant for stardom


darkness doesn't fall so much as gleam






...that it's your response (and everyone's)


fighting, praying, dithering


to bask against the friction of destination


if that's what you mean


to do: then you must and may.






If not: I couldn't agree more


I'm surprised to find


life is and isn't a dream


nothing is first, and come we, then never were -


and that's just fine






...it has to be fine


you're going to be fine!






Lights on, lights off


what you got against yourself?


I won't stand by anymore






purporting to understand...


Like I'm me, you're just pretend -


but there's so much more to see!

A wait


Except for weight of the world, all I hear tonight is your heart


pounding resplendent fisheye lens of blood cells


distress - nothing left of the summer container for our love


tacit misshapen sparks welding doorframe shut


fat betrays on my wide-open belly, dumb-founded mark


of blast and dragon, some unsoon dawn


where has it, who, that


...feeling that something is inside, I'm not alone?


...windows open, a flat to call our home?


I'm no rock, neither flesh nor bone


you're not mine now, you never were -


I wouldn't have it any other way!


If not tomorrow, sea, sky, depth, height, or weight:


forever will have us today.

For a dear friend


Columbine, sweet columbine


in dead of springtime


1999






sweet coloumbine scented the air


on our date I felt so fair


what'd we even do, and where?






I was not yet eighteen years old


thought that's what you'd been waiting for


but we couldn't wait any longer






so I kissed the first man I truly loved


a best friend I didn't need or want


because of what we didn't have in common


I write now to say I love you, Scott Husmann






the kindness you bore out


and eventually into my body, participant


but not apex of pent-up


longing and respect (explanation:






I'm humbled to have met you, and to maintain your friendship


all success and good fortune the universe has


in store - though it does not know you're here


and will not notice when you've gone - is what I wish for you)






then we learned of shots flung by Dylan and Erik


and they shot the black kid because he was black.*




* Please click for link to source.

We hate you

We hate you/we do not exactly feel for you
we miss you/you are not recalled, not
fondly if at all/we are bearing down on you
we did not even notice you there/we will
hold you down if we catch up to you
we would not rape you if
you were the last hymen in horticulture

Something is coming

Something is coming for me
it is in the headlines
screaming get out the way
bomb millers delight in aspiring
feast upon grave plot fiat
of topiary despites - egg
cream whipped of lead pipe
in tibula's bin or crack, ice
rock (AM arrives too soon - heads) to roll

If it is

If it is and if it isn't if it was
if one can by self if one cannot
if alone is all for me if I'm entered
alien is not bitter outlander
are the sweetest of rare meats
black people, black people
reduced to orgiastic phallo-
centric/in concert at
experiential edge of waking
all men lie/all ladies waltz

Taking in all

Taking in all kin and comers
to right the belongs of
dawn senescence - hard staring
but you were born, not aborted
so how can you possibly know
or hope to overstate - undeniably
me is not something to try to be-

Seven songs

These lyrics are dedicated to our dear friends pictured here - may we keep each other safe and hold each other soon.



How does anybody
ever make it through
with tanks firing into face?

 It's the Master Race
they've come for you...
How ya gonna make
it back home?

You never left
I'm not alone
you never left.

How does anybody keep
sixty paces between
armor and skin
none is without sin

but sleep I long for
not night or
in Good's graces
life after life...

How you gonna
make it back home;
in what land do houses
rise up and to Master come?

The very last thing
I hear you say
is: 'Everything's
about to go up in flames!'

Then you slip into smoke
an untamed heart
is just a driverless train.

I know you like
to take a chance
but next thing you know
someone's life is in your hands.

The next thing you hear
is the very last thing you'll hear
an asphalt grave's no
way to stake your claim.

There you were
curled-up on the floor
better a lost cause
than ever to get bored!

The very last thing
I heard you say was:
'Everything's about
to go up in flames!'

You slip into smoke
curl up on the floor
an untamed heart
I'd rather be a lost cause...

I sure don't want
to be afraid
like I am today
I just got to say

(And I hope you're not listening
because if you are
this ain't gonna be pretty)

Let's not stop at the start
I won't be taking part
in no race to prosperity

magnanimity slaughters artistry

Don't pay for artworks!
It's hard work-
HEARTWORK!

Coin and dollar
won't make for hire
Jack the Ripper.

Artists must
not be prosperous.
The whole world can see:
We'll still be doing our thing-

Don't pay for artwork!
It's just too hard work-
HEARTWORK!

Don't pay to see me,
hear me, fuck me
or be me; forget me - just
KEEP THE MUSIC FREE!

Do you remember when
I said, 'Remember when...'?
Let's stop remembering
and make new memories

Be my friend
I don't need
another enemy
come baby please

end life for me
do off strictly
come inside me
H-I-V-E

a brush with life
I once was free
by which I mean
make me your wife

don't die
before your time
how can sacrifice be a crime
when it's the only guarantee

I don't need
another enemy
come baby please
be my friend

success is so...
How can I know?
easy...
I'm dying to be free!

Will I recognise
my name when I
hear excised
from the book of life?

Will I go free
by which I'm
not again me
today or ever?

Life is always strange somehow
it has its ups and downs
it drives you crazy
spinning round and round...

In life there's no knowing why
suicide is no escape from time

Why is there just one, why
not a second more? And no
rewinding? Is it worth it
or Love's no more than rhyme?

I know I can't start living
til I escape from time
has any puppet ever
actually come alive?

You haven't started until you've left behind
you got to make peace with time

and all the crying
fighting lying biting
slighting of every caste
by every other

so fled to Mary Mother
'May I please have a moment of your time?'
no time for breaking-down
I'm flung and settle as dust in sky-

Don't worry about where I am
I'm gone as far as your concerned
and even if we'll see each other again
it's gonna be a long time from now

every graceless thing will run its course
at the end of it all come a-crashing
toxic memory his name in acrostic
recollection's grey snow by lightning flashed

inside your heart you know it's easy
to say goodbye if not to mean it
as small a foothold as your love gained
I condemned by saying, 'We are one'

without fear of reprisal; Don't worry, don't hold in mind
I'm gone as far as you're concerned
and if we should see each other again,
it'll be years from now - Will you
even know my face, much less my name?

It's hard when you're
not really live
to feel for sure
know you are loved

But you're not really live, not present
listen to the words I say
look at who I pray to be

No medicine or psychology
can take my place, walking so fine wire
no other can posit or see
from eyes of this gyre

You're not really live, not present
are you listening, hearing
or trying to talk over me?

if you're trying, you're absent
with no objective advice
outside of the moment
what sets you free

if you're crying or impatient
who do you love outside self
outside of time, a living shadow
can you ever love me?

You're not really live, not present
show me that I'm seen and heard
and don't you dare talk over me!

Exquisite Corpse at the Merryweather's,1

An evening with Rebecca Mark, Kay Merryweather, and Jesse Newman.

Is a lie undefended...

Is a lie undefended as harmless
as a truth undefended is
picaresque? The only
tether to Mother earth
is getting a feeling.
Let the feel of a threat
to your integrity move
you, but don't dwell
inside yourself, for I'll
always be looking out
to connect again without
another lover or my brother
for study of self is far
more dignity than ever the
stitcher (who made us up
to be free) intended
and that's why everyone is odd-looking...

Stay bright/Treat me right

The world is mean I mean.

Blasphemous prayer

  
    A path to heaven is guaranteed (yes, even for
those who give to and help others
each day for no condemnation, church, dictate
or capability to pray
will save your soul if you pass over G-d
cold and desperate and begging for spare change.

Let she who hates ignores or places devotion to faith
      over child or lover or parent or friend
know the blood of the savior is on your hands
for He dies in you when venom and false justification
you spew without.
Once you've learned that our one task on earth is to
help, can you choose not to? 
 

Gravity sucks freestyle at poetry reading, 2

Gravity sucks freestyle at poetry reading, 1

 

 This is how arms enclasp
this is pushing inward
this is how one pushes and sways
this is how they fell this is
how we grow - this is heavy shit
this is how you became a dead man - this is how
you rushed her way
this is the lake house/this is
my lake house
this is exactly how you get to my lake house
This is how you get
to the road to get to
the lake house this
is how you turn on
the car this is how
you get out the
door I don't know
how to get out the
door she said
this is how she said we
did it last year
this is how to close your eyes
    on stab
this is how to lock the door
this is how to stab
this is how you survive
a stabbing kiss the
victim don't be
the victim.
this is how this how the
        world should end
this is how we can already see it.

Mother

          Mother

currently lives in

a space I did

not grow up, yet

I'm supposed to

call it home? I

haven't any home

here except the one I bring

I haven't anything

worth forgetting

because I live

in the 'now'

everlasting akin

to moment sedentary

in stupor glacier

barreled toward me in Winnebago

it wasn't long before I assume

he lives here, it doesn't take

nerve gas to pique my sense

to forgetting addresses a face

particles of clothing

I never been here before

I didn't use to pull the trick

you say you pull you card shark

driving metro bus from upper deck

forced-horizon in eye is only portentous

as ever for an instant

for in day while men and feral foragers

rest, reverie unifies nite.

Class crown bequeathes to landfill

adolescent substance oozy glory

in bronze harkens shakes and peeks

at globe on which we crouch

fearing G-d from under sheets

worn once as ghost costume

wait that's a movie recall not memory

all soul's day however is actual

in our space recognizable

he kisses grimy underbelly of calendary

fearing not the donning of boxers or briefs

shifts in genomic trajectory or politic

flanks 'Semper fi' with new eaglets

who'll each collapse of heart defeat

I kissed a boy once breathing

off swallowing disembowelment

no longer in shadow

capitalize stranger lower untested-aspirations

because of frailty, vitality

identification metamorphosises Unknown to Lover

I choose to let words bear-down

on neck blushing my purple

bereft of fortnight to plan and wallow

love shoulders hard hats against

down-pressing urgency

I cast you uninseminated embryo

who would be my baby boy

at last to realm of possibility, forever.

Call me sometime the way your mother

incites all her rabble to supper table

glowy in setting still of December

sometimes you convened only once per day

in early morn after being retrieved

from babysitter's down the street.

Neanderthals didn't find each other dwelling in huts

or even look to familiar without bullet

failing to own the ground onto which was spat

and grown-upon - diver for pearls in dark of

harboring poachers: that's not so bad

unless it is, and it is

sign of dwindling property value

window to dental services that represents

attempt by owner of said edifice

at boarding-up shot-out frosted glass

but merely points out lack of

shimmering newness anywhere on block

I'd have left it alone

the heat might get out and the ninjas

gain entry surreptitiously

but it's got character

and flora overtaking ivy ensconsed

in constitution of el barrio

is it true I disappear

if aren't recalled by anyone

is it so I die every day

actively-forgotten in mist of reminiscenses

escaping from even earth

at least not memorizable from then on

even for participant, actual form is fantasy

daily loaf not felt or smelled, all silence

all background dungeon, making plans to meet sometime

to let you my dear know when I'm

not here any longer so you can wear that necklace and go out

I forgive the matriarch of war

for fabled lands and intrepid haze

overwhelming long-term memory

isn't it stultifying to recognize once-known or -unknown

tho it doesn't mean much this morning

blind desiderative reach to recollected coordinates 

of charging dock, slave to certainty
that levitating atop bureau wherever
rested communication device
to tell you of this apocrypha
but nothing came back to me.

The [Lookout Tower] rising above 110/7th is Marcus

The [Lookout Tower] rising above 110/7th is Marcus

a fuckubus from just below 135th Street

whom I mustn't trust

though he was kind enough

not killing or robbing me...

Razer

Razer

Your dignified
my brother
I don't know
if you're back
for good or just
to remind me
of the failed state
in which one
finds the river
frothing forth
to be fallen-into
solderers of love.
It's not
simple as Mensa
plan would have
one nation, undergrad.
Is it a shame
I'm only hearing
what you see from
didgeradoo to gadgets
envious sway of watcher
star-grazing black hole
widens tributary for vestments galore.
I can smear with recognition
broadly outlaying metropolis of flirters.
But never will he be here for you
I can't help to explain
how disappearance gone berserk mandates babble
carraiges, offal in the North Woods
scarily available in nascent candor
damp guard of heart to rape
the ardent foe
of sojourning:
holiness, pregnant
spoon of pest
and tome entombed.
Where is left for
orange sky - the sky?
In sand dilate I
to most-high, regarded
pollutant sloughed
off nylon campgrounds.
Miserly heart
habitual gait
bend back to
square none. Prior
to invention of zero
I was only ever
alone, dreading
not being spied
from cavernous sound
waves deployed by
fear-monger, no lies
told worthy in or of empire.
Guaranteed love is too
stung and feeble wailing
in doubt - Song of
wisdom-less grace: deluge
earthily near-mention
of self, unrealized in limb
wind or elementary particle
supposed ganderer
earn your keep within toxic hymnal.

This isn't real

This isn't real

I'm not real

how can I be real

when I can't even feel

I'm not hot or cold

I'm not there or now

I'm not in or out

imitation in drought

enduring visitation to Fetisheavan

halfway to limbo

did I make it

no forgot to go

forget where I'm going

ice set in gold ring

in shambles my igloo

The past is real

The past is real
people don't endure
physical objects
the bruises' bleeding pulp
stain on slab of concrete
which has garnered a hit
this is wounded objects
something terrible something
other than is violently happening
inside you coming to know
that time is truth
flesh does not abstain
from doing-away-with.  The spirit
has turtle shells like or as cicada
emergent I who ain't shit
turn to dust
feeding mite-lust.

Freestyle Collaboration with Jason Noah