Seven Songs

Don't be sorry*


Don't say no before our time is over

don't let me go if yu don't really want to

the problem is: if yu act, then your actions speak for yu,

and if yu stall, well sometimes there's just no talking to-




but if you're sorry then you're sorry and I already know

if you're sorry then you're sorry, just let it go

if you're sorry then you're sorry, just let it be

if you don't do it for yourself then do it for me




you don't have to be beholden to anyone

noone brings you anything except their gun

and while you're staring at the trigger they're out having fun




if you're sorry, really sorry, baby yu don't have to be

cos all our friends know it's not yu it's me

to all of them I turned my back in their hour of need

the greatest gift I gave them was to become a memory




but the universe is not finite!

Neither was the starlight

reflected in your eyes...




I remember you!

And when I do I'm happy

I hope you know I'm sorry...

Impermanently


Glorious heartbreak


sensory I can't divorce from the meaning that I heard

scared of the sky, I fell short of the bird




No classic sign

I take it to mean you're doing alright without me

to clarify for mother earth: I tend your gardens but I can't unswerve




Iceberg's in the way

cattails no longer sway

milk has no breast from which to spill

impermanent it!




How diligent must cloud seem to gust, whipping, and thrush?

All above

impermanent like us!




Humane instinct

carry me to him in the past I confuse for today

if it happens to me, it just so happens to be unexplainable...




Is there nothing that can't be undecided by or do

you know one who

speaks only what's true?




Is the path to negate all catastropes (impermanent love), sanctuary (desirable fool), memory (many come), dynasty (few go):




You and me all the way

you and me back home

you and me remain there

impermanently!

Wasted breath


Have I been blind?

Have I been unkind?

Have I been lost or absent?

Have I been a waste of time?




Have I been right?

Have I been wrong?

Have I been so far away yu didn't remember my name?




Yu lost memories of my face,

yu could draw in place of me

anybody walking down the street.

This was your living grace:




To move on, all yu had to do was stand up.

To move on, all yu had to do was get up.

To move on...




Yu got right on,

and yu wasted breath when yu turned aroud and yu said, 'Fuck off'.

Yu wasted your breath,

but that's alright.




You'll get along.

Go on and get along.

Yu wasted time,

go on, get along...

Make it right


Carry on

I don't have courage

to stay the night...




Now what's wrong?

I don't want to waste another life!




I don't usually see the point of getting to know

last names, addresses, the inner soul...




If I got another chance to make it right,

I'd take it this time!




I fly solo

so I can know

what's it like

to leave when I

- and only I can -

make it right!

Pretending I'm me


You may not be the master


or meant to meet your demise


in any specific disaster


yet it's to your benefit to realise






you may not be the one


hell, neither may I


please everybody


but what's the hurt in trying?






Try... oh we like to fit into


the machine already constructed


black and blue from ages rotting


body and bowl are plastic


merely here - and that's the point


of loving you






I love me too


love me too






Please just imagine


entertain the possibility


that you were not meant for stardom


darkness doesn't fall so much as gleam






...that it's your response (and everyone's)


fighting, praying, dithering


to bask against the friction of destination


if that's what you mean


to do: then you must and may.






If not: I couldn't agree more


I'm surprised to find


life is and isn't a dream


nothing is first, and come we, then never were -


and that's just fine






...it has to be fine


you're going to be fine!






Lights on, lights off


what you got against yourself?


I won't stand by anymore






purporting to understand...


Like I'm me, you're just pretend -


but there's so much more to see!

A wait


Except for weight of the world, all I hear tonight is your heart


pounding resplendent fisheye lens of blood cells


distress - nothing left of the summer container for our love


tacit misshapen sparks welding doorframe shut


fat betrays on my wide-open belly, dumb-founded mark


of blast and dragon, some unsoon dawn


where has it, who, that


...feeling that something is inside, I'm not alone?


...windows open, a flat to call our home?


I'm no rock, neither flesh nor bone


you're not mine now, you never were -


I wouldn't have it any other way!


If not tomorrow, sea, sky, depth, height, or weight:


forever will have us today.

For a dear friend


Columbine, sweet columbine


in dead of springtime


1999






sweet coloumbine scented the air


on our date I felt so fair


what'd we even do, and where?






I was not yet eighteen years old


thought that's what you'd been waiting for


but we couldn't wait any longer






so I kissed the first man I truly loved


a best friend I didn't need or want


because of what we didn't have in common


I write now to say I love you, Scott Husmann






the kindness you bore out


and eventually into my body, participant


but not apex of pent-up


longing and respect (explanation:






I'm humbled to have met you, and to maintain your friendship


all success and good fortune the universe has


in store - though it does not know you're here


and will not notice when you've gone - is what I wish for you)






then we learned of shots flung by Dylan and Erik


and they shot the black kid because he was black.*




* Please click for link to source.

Seven songs

These lyrics are dedicated to our dear friends pictured here - may we keep each other safe and hold each other soon.



How does anybody
ever make it through
with tanks firing into face?

 It's the Master Race
they've come for you...
How ya gonna make
it back home?

You never left
I'm not alone
you never left.

How does anybody keep
sixty paces between
armor and skin
none is without sin

but sleep I long for
not night or
in Good's graces
life after life...

How you gonna
make it back home;
in what land do houses
rise up and to Master come?

The very last thing
I hear you say
is: 'Everything's
about to go up in flames!'

Then you slip into smoke
an untamed heart
is just a driverless train.

I know you like
to take a chance
but next thing you know
someone's life is in your hands.

The next thing you hear
is the very last thing you'll hear
an asphalt grave's no
way to stake your claim.

There you were
curled-up on the floor
better a lost cause
than ever to get bored!

The very last thing
I heard you say was:
'Everything's about
to go up in flames!'

You slip into smoke
curl up on the floor
an untamed heart
I'd rather be a lost cause...

I sure don't want
to be afraid
like I am today
I just got to say

(And I hope you're not listening
because if you are
this ain't gonna be pretty)

Let's not stop at the start
I won't be taking part
in no race to prosperity

magnanimity slaughters artistry

Don't pay for artworks!
It's hard work-
HEARTWORK!

Coin and dollar
won't make for hire
Jack the Ripper.

Artists must
not be prosperous.
The whole world can see:
We'll still be doing our thing-

Don't pay for artwork!
It's just too hard work-
HEARTWORK!

Don't pay to see me,
hear me, fuck me
or be me; forget me - just
KEEP THE MUSIC FREE!

Do you remember when
I said, 'Remember when...'?
Let's stop remembering
and make new memories

Be my friend
I don't need
another enemy
come baby please

end life for me
do off strictly
come inside me
H-I-V-E

a brush with life
I once was free
by which I mean
make me your wife

don't die
before your time
how can sacrifice be a crime
when it's the only guarantee

I don't need
another enemy
come baby please
be my friend

success is so...
How can I know?
easy...
I'm dying to be free!

Will I recognise
my name when I
hear excised
from the book of life?

Will I go free
by which I'm
not again me
today or ever?

Life is always strange somehow
it has its ups and downs
it drives you crazy
spinning round and round...

In life there's no knowing why
suicide is no escape from time

Why is there just one, why
not a second more? And no
rewinding? Is it worth it
or Love's no more than rhyme?

I know I can't start living
til I escape from time
has any puppet ever
actually come alive?

You haven't started until you've left behind
you got to make peace with time

and all the crying
fighting lying biting
slighting of every caste
by every other

so fled to Mary Mother
'May I please have a moment of your time?'
no time for breaking-down
I'm flung and settle as dust in sky-

Don't worry about where I am
I'm gone as far as your concerned
and even if we'll see each other again
it's gonna be a long time from now

every graceless thing will run its course
at the end of it all come a-crashing
toxic memory his name in acrostic
recollection's grey snow by lightning flashed

inside your heart you know it's easy
to say goodbye if not to mean it
as small a foothold as your love gained
I condemned by saying, 'We are one'

without fear of reprisal; Don't worry, don't hold in mind
I'm gone as far as you're concerned
and if we should see each other again,
it'll be years from now - Will you
even know my face, much less my name?

It's hard when you're
not really live
to feel for sure
know you are loved

But you're not really live, not present
listen to the words I say
look at who I pray to be

No medicine or psychology
can take my place, walking so fine wire
no other can posit or see
from eyes of this gyre

You're not really live, not present
are you listening, hearing
or trying to talk over me?

if you're trying, you're absent
with no objective advice
outside of the moment
what sets you free

if you're crying or impatient
who do you love outside self
outside of time, a living shadow
can you ever love me?

You're not really live, not present
show me that I'm seen and heard
and don't you dare talk over me!